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Sunday, October 06, 2013

Thank you America: twerking is a crime, as I'd suspected

Scanning the news headlines with half an eye on my way down to the football results, I notice that the forces of law and order in the USA have finally decided to take a stand on behalf of the next generation.

A homeless woman has been arrested after twerking in front of a Florida school bus.

[From Homeless woman charged with disorderly conduct after twerking in front of schoolchildren on a Florida bus | Mail Online]

This is excellent news. Having learned what twerking was, I'd taken it to be merely unpleasant and a typically revolting commentary on our collapsing society, but it turns out that in America, doing it in front of children is a crime (at least, it is if you are African-American). I'm assuming, therefore, that the vigilant men and women of the Lake County police force are even now contacting their counterparts in wherever-it-is that Miley Cyrus lives to have her arraigned. Hopefully, she'll get at least a couple of years in the slammer and we can all be spared ever hearing about her again.

My only concern about this is that the people behind MTV need to be charged with aiding and abetting, or perhaps even maintaining a criminal conspiracy, since they knew in advance and actively planned for Miley Cyrus to twerk in front of under-age children. It will be a travesty of justice if these evil people escape the long arm of the law in this case.

Machine-gunning the pop stars and sending their families to prison camps may seen like a tough line, but you've got to take a stand somewhere to protect the children.

[From a blog from a Citizen of Woking]

I'm not suggesting we adopt Kim Jong-Un's line here: machine-gunning pop stars is out of the question because of the European Court of Human Rights and prison camps are a reasonable alternative. Come on America: bang her up and show us that you care about the children.

In the future, everyone will be famous to fifteen people.